Christmas 2016

Christmas is always an insane clusterfuck of things happening that we literally have no control over, the Holiday Spirit rips through our bodies in a matter of days and leaves us spent with garbage overload, 10 extra pounds and a pile of toys thats as tall as the Taj Mahal.
With all that being said, I LOVE Christmas time like no other.
I am more excited as an adult than I think, I was as a child, I get to take the kids places and experience the excitement again through them, also Steve still believes in Santa Clause so there's that extra bonus.
I wanted to cram more in throughout the holiday season but there's only so much I can do, and handle, for that matter.
Our families are divorced on both sides so we have literally 5 or 6 Christmases a year. Our first is usually Grandma Susie. She showers the adults with money and the children with glorious gifts that they cant stop talking about for days.
On Christmas Eve we went to my Aunt Terry's house where she proudly proclaimed that she made the mashed potatoes from scratch (a common point of contention on each holiday) and we had ham that was freaking glorious. I sat in the kitchen and demand my Aunt pour me copious amounts of booze while the kids ran around screaming that they wanted to open presents and terrorizing their elderly cat and dog.

After our amazing meal, it was finally time to open presents! The kids gleefully attacked their giant tower of gifts and made out like literal bandits.
We hung out and I sobered up while Charlie and Chaz continued to take shots, cuz that's how we roll, and we stuffed my little car so full of boxes that the kids in the back seat and Charlie in the passenger had to carry things on their laps and underfoot.
We came home and shoved the kids in bed and Charlie passed out while watching Snatch, my Christmas Eve favorite, on the couch.

I made sure the kids were asleep and crept back into our room, trying to be as quiet as possible, and grabbed all the stocking stuffers and Santa gifts that I had stashed in our closet.
The closet that is always open and I have been filling up with Amazon boxes for months and where I shove the wrapping paper, seriously, everyone is oblivious.
Anyway, I stuffed all the stockings and as I put out the gifts, tried not to touch our fire hazard Christmas tree that was shedding needles so badly there was an inch or two of them on the floor. Next year we may make more of an effort to water the thing.
We eventually made our way to bed and I was up before the kids at 5 making cinnamon rolls from scratch. Why would I do this every year? For the love of God, would someone tell me? I have no idea. No one even appreciates them. Whatever.
The kids were up shortly after me and Charlie came grumbling out a little while later. With our coffees in hand and Christmas music on our UE Boom, we officially let them dig in.
I love, love, love watching them open the gifts that I have worked to budget in and stacked up in plain sight. We don't buy them things throughout the year, we typically go do fun things instead of get a new toy or something, so this is extra exciting for everyone.
After fevered ripping of the paper and cinnamon roll comatose, we commenced clean up.
I hate to admit it, but I took all the Christmas decorations down and tossed that tree outside.
I am still sucking up pine needles.
We packed up and went to yet another Christmas gathering, this time at Charlies Aunts house.
For the last few years we have done "Handmade Christmas" and its totally my favorite!
This year I made lip balm, body butter, bath soak and sugar scrub and let me tell you, I enjoyed every minute of making them and giving them!
I dont know if anyone else did, doesn't matter, I had fun.
We dined and then the real fun started.
Gifts.
Over there, there are rules to Christmas gifts. The youngest goes first and opens all their presents and everyone watches and then the next oldest and so on. This is awkward for me because I have a hard time controlling my facial expressions.
For example, one year someone in the family who shall remain nameless, <cough grandma cough> gave me a whole nicely folded and wrapped clothing box of Victorias Secret various animal print high wasted brief underwear. I was mortified, as my face probably showed. She looked at me with a confused look on her face, grabbed my arm and said, "Whats the matter dear? You dont like the style?"
So, I try to plow through my gifts with a smile on my face, no matter what mysterious things I may find.
After lounging peacefully on the squishy chairs in the living room and watching the kids all race around together, we packed up our tiny car yet again, fit to burst and drove home.
We managed one more Christmas at my Dads house where we got a generator(!) and the kids were loaded with stuff yet again. Im still waiting on my real gift though, a chicken palace for the back yard.
Times a ticking there, Dad!
We went out afterwards and had a glorious dinner and my Dad made me cry because he was proud of us, which was probably the best gift I could've received this year, or any year really.

We try and ingrain what Christmas is really about, to my family, anyways, and for us that is time spent with all the people we love. I ask Steve every year, "What are you most excited about?" and he dutifully albeit roboticly answers, "Spending time with family." and then follows up with a quick, "and the presents!"
As long as he's got his priorities in order, right?