He hadnt had a full weekend off in a while and it was nice to get away as a family for the night.
I called my Gma and she came to feed the dogs and water the SOB farms while we were away.
She also cleaned the house,which is like the biggest bonus ever.
After trying to leave at least five times (Summer needs a sandwich, Goose busted open the fence and leapt into the truck, we need rope, who needs a book, etc) we finally were able to pull out of the driveway and into the wild.
Well, we first needed to drive two and a half hours to get there.
Summer was totally deliriously tired and adorable the whole drive over and Steve was quiet, I assumed he was reading on the Kindle, but as it turns out, he was not.
He was playing a game.
For almost 3 hours.
Which is not allowed.
Anything to keep them quiet, I guess.
Charlie was getting stressed out and kept thinking that Colonial Creek Campground on Lake Diablo was going to be all filled up.
He kept asking if I wanted to camp in a different spot or if it was full if we could drive further and find another one.
What should we do??
As it turns out, none of these scenarios were needed at all, because the campground was closed.
Oh shit.
Well, we have two options, we can turn around and the kids will be very disappointed or we can just park out on the road where the hikers park and pack our stuff into the site.
I need running water.
I need a bathroom.
I have a very delicate stomach and it is IMPERATIVE I have a working toilet.
I cannot pee or poo in the woods.
No.
Luckily for everyone there was a port a potty that was stocked and well looked after and we camped next to the river for washing dishes.
Problem solved.
We packed all our gear into trusty spot number 9.
There were two other campers in the park and one couple had an old lab that kept coming and saying hi to us. It was nice. We had the run of the whole place, it didn't matter that we didn't have running water, because, really, who washes their hands and showers when they're camping anyway?
The answer: not the Berlin Family!
It was all wonderful and we were settling in nicely when I started to feel a little tingly and stressed out which was directly correlated with a sign talking about the Bear Box.
A Bear Box is a huge metal cabinet that you store food into keep the bears away.
You can also store yourself in there too, in case of a potential bear charging at you incident.
I did the calculations, Steve, Summer and I could all fit.
Charlie would be fending for himself.
That's what he gets for wanting to spend some quality outdoor time with the family, a good ol' bear mauling.
I decided to head the anxiety attack off with some pharmaceuticals and I felt a little better.
Charlie made me feel a bit better too.
"As long as we're not cooking hot dogs all night and leaving food everywhere we're fine. Ill put the food in the truck.Plus every time I've encountered bear, you can hear them coming. They're really loud so we would have an advanced notice."
It must be so exhausting to be married to me.
As I made dinner and the kids played I made sure to pick up every single crumb that Summer dropped. I was not inviting any animal into our campsite for a rollicking good time and potential death. No way!
Oh look a deer, you guys!
We all ran up to the road to check out the deer and I briefly thought about grabbing something to feed it, because I really do want the wildlife to come and have a rollicking good time with us, just not the scary kind.
I resisted the urge to feed anything, thank goodness.
The kids played and messed around in the hammock.
Steve got a new knife and whittled the shit out of every stick he could find.
We had 'smores and around 10:00 decided to pack it in.
Charlie found an outlet on the side of the bathrooms to pump up our air mattress and the kids got our roll up sleeping pads, which was a nice change for us.
I decided to head off Charlies snoring and my growing anxiety about bears ripping the family to shreds over some potential 'smore marshmallows smeared on the side of the bear box, with a melatonin.
We all read for a while, while Summer ripped off her warm jammies and decided she would sleep only in underwear and only with a little blanket and not with her sleeping bag.
I was super drowsy and decided we should lights out while the getting was good and the melatonin was working.
I slipped off to dream land for approximately twelve seconds before something, a mouse, probably scuttered over some branches outside our tent.
"We're going to die."
My eyes shot open and I gripped our huge flashlight while bursts of adrenaline surged through my body.
Every small whisper of a twig snap, every ruffle of the tent from a sleeping Steve was met with an intense ripple of terror shooting through my body.
How is everyone snoring soundly? Clearly, we should be packing because the bears can smell my fear. We will be mauled within the hour.
And then came the lights.
When I wasn't trying to calm the fuck down with my eyes closed, they were open as wide as a meth addicts trying to tell you they need money for the bus.
I thought I might be seeing things because my eyes were open and unblinking, they must be tearing up and seeing strange flashes of light because they need to blink.
Or its obvious.
Aliens are here to abduct us.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? WHY DON'T WE HAVE BEAR MACE AND A GUN!
I violently shook Charlie awake.
"There are lights outside!"
"What?"
He did what any sane person would do and instead of crying and clutching the flashlight, he looked out of the tent and saw what is now incredibly obvious as I write this.
It was a few late comers trying to unpack their stuff and get into a site.
"Can't you take like five more melatonin? I was asleep."
"Thanks, I love you."
I snuggled up to Charlie as far as I could go while probably pushing him off the mattress. I need constant contact when I'm feeling like bears are going to rip through the tent and then aliens are sucking us up through a light.
Feeling good.
The adrenaline eventually stopped shockwaving long enough for me to nod either nod off for a bit or just relax enough to lay there quietly. I'm honestly not sure if I slept. My eyelids shot open again around 430 when a twig snapped right next to my head.
More heart pounding. More sweating. More terrible thoughts pouring through my head in wave after wave of horrible scenarios.
Then my stomach started to gurgle.
NOOOOOOOO!
I laid in agony as long as I could. I was at the point of peeing and pooping my pants when I finally woke my wonderfully snoozing husband next to me.
"I have to go to the bathroom."
"Can't you just pee outside the tent?"
Totally aghast, "No!"
Without much more protest he woke up and walked me to the port a potty.
"We're leaving our two sleeping children because you're too scared to go by yourself?" He snickered at me.
I really couldn't love that smirking jerk any more than I could at that moment.
What other husband wouldn't put up a fuss when you woke them up in the middle of the night and dragged them out to take you to the bathroom?
Not many.
As I shamed myself while doing my business and made sure that nothing was lurking in the toilet, Charlie was making a beautiful discovery.
I walked out and had a minor heart attack when Charlie wasn't in immediate walking distance when I heard him shouting my name from the middle of the road.
"Look up."
I obediently looked up and saw the most amazingly gorgeous starscape I've ever seen.
As soon as I looked up I saw a shooting star and a million stars glittering back at me.
It was worth the anxiety and the no sleep and waking Charlie up in the middle of the night for this little moment of starry bliss.
Just relax.
We walked back a little hastily because of the kids all by themselves but it was really the highlight of this little family adventure.
I slept soundly after we got back to the tent for a whole three hours, when Summer decided that she was cold and needed new jammies on.
The kids and I got up and I started a fire for eggs and coffee. Eventually, Charlie woke up and swept Steve off to the ThunderKnob hiking trail.
After about an hour or so, we went back up and lounged around in the hammock and slowly packed up our things.
Just as we were putting Summer into her seat a Park Ranger pulled up.
I busied with Summer while Charlie talked the Ranger.
"When does this place officially open?"
"Next Friday. You looking for a place to camp?"
"Naw, we stayed here last night. Have a good one!"
With a parting wave, the Ranger just gave us a you-really-shoudlnt-have-stayed-but-I-can't-do-anything-about-it-now look.
We escaped bears and a possible alien abduction.
What have you done this weekend?
Cheers.
I love it.
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