Last year at Christmas I had to work the first 20 days or something like that with only one day off and the rest, well the rest of the time we were all suffering from Noro Virus, a super unpleasant stomach virus that hangs on for weeks...and we all had it at the same time and then Steve got pink eye.
It wasn't a fun holiday season for us!
So, in order to make up for last years diarrhea/vomit/work fest I scrambled around doing everything I could think of to make the kids and myself happily feel like an elf.
We made a special trip to Macys just so Steve (who still believes in Santa) could write a letter to him and put it in their special mail box, he saw a mini drone in their Christmas area and was totally obsessed with it, but it was 130 bucks and I was like, "That's crazy expensive for a tiny little drone that will break after playing with it for 30 seconds." and he was like "Well, that's why Im asking Santa, he will totally get it for me. Because he can."And just like that I knew this would be the year where it all didn't make sense, he would ask Santa for that stupid overpriced drone and not receive it because I wasn't about to waste money on that tiny, little thing when I knew exactly what would happen to it.
Anywho, he wrote the letter, in sharpie because for some reason that's the only writing utensil I had in my purse, and mailed it.
Great.
We decorated a few days later and it was like the Holy Grail had divinely arrived at our house.
When Charlie brought the box down from the attic a hush fell over the children.
Their eyes glazed over with Christmas joy and Summer started shaking uncontrollably.
This is it. This is what all children wait for all year long and we were covering our house in it.
I opened the box and Steve immediately, like the hoarder he is, wanted to take all of his nutcrackers to his room.
I had to explain that they were going on top of the piano and that he didn't have the space in his room for them. After a minor argument, he agreed and obsessively placed them perfectly on the piano.
I sat down and unwrapped all the breakables, Summer sat next to me and squealed with delight at each and every ornament that I unwrapped, screaming, "Oh! That's my Santa!" no matter what it was.I brought out the nativity scene and Summer went out of her mind. A baby! A sheep! A camel!
It was all on the brink of being too much.
Then I brought out the lights and the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I plugged the lights in and stepped up onto the couch, I looked out to see the effect this would have on the kids.
I swear Steve brushed a tear away as he came over to tell me exactly how I should be stringing them so that they would shine more magnificently. Summer was awestruck; staring at us with baby Jesus in her hands.
We decorated more at my moms house, where there are not one but two trees.
I thought they were going to convulse with joy when I told them they could decorate the bottom tree all themselves.
We did some cute little crafts with popsicle sticks and I made some hot chocolate and tried to be crafty and add peppermint extract but I added way too much and it just burned my throat, Steve braved through his and we did some Christmas card pictures.Steve proclaimed it was the best night of his life.
Score one for Mom!
We baked cookies and I went and volunteered in Steves class to help make gingerbread houses on the day before Christmas break.
We did Christmas with Susie pretty early; she went to California to be with Shannon and the kids were totally amped.
Steve got a magic set, perfect for him.
Summer, a bike, which she lovingly played with the tassels (before ripping them off) and stuffed some new toys into the carrying pouch on the front.That following week we went to see the Gingerbread houses and I attended Jamie's 3rd Annual Ugly Christmas Sweater Party.
I asked my Dad and Step Mom to come to our house for brunch and a Monopoly Tournament on Christmas Eve and they came and even better, brought fancy booze!
I like to try and impress my Dad with how domestic I am so I made sure the house was spotless, I even hands and knees mopped the hard wood, not once but twice.
I prepped all the food the day before and made tortillas for breakfast burritos and fancy scones and hash browns from scratch and a bunch of other stuff but somehow forgot that normal people use napkins.I never buy what I deem as unnecessary paper products, so we all sat there dripping all over the place. I didn't mind, but I'm pretty sure they did.
My domestic dream was ruined, Im positive it was already a little marred by our 3 annoying dogs in their faces constantly and begging for food at your armpits, so, you know, whatever.
The kids were thrilled with their presents as well, Steve got some science experiments and Summer got a bunch of frilly pink clothes and <gasp> Barbies.
Which I found later, on my floor, like this.
When it was time to open our present, I was hoping with all hope that it was a vacuum.
They came through last year with a washer and dryer for us and the year before that with a kitchenade stand up mixer. I cried receiving all of them. They are excellent gift givers.
I opened up our big box and lo and behold the grand mother of all vacuums. The one I had been wanting for years, a Dyson.
I was so excited that after they left, I vacuumed all the carpet in the house at least 3 times.
We stayed up that night wrapping gifts and watching Titanic (thanks Netflix!). It was so nice and cozy with the lights up and the fire going and the kids were so excited for Christmas Morning.
We did Black Friday this year, but not really having anything in mind, went at noon with the kids, to Macys.
Turns out we shouldn't have brought them.
The stupid drone Steve was so desperate for was there and it was like 90 percent off. I had to get it and buy Steve another year of believing in Santa.
I forced the kids to go and sit with Charlie while he was trying clothes on. I grabbed 2 drones and a few Melissa and Doug toys and had a bunch of other stuff with me.
I expected it to be a super quick transaction. Buy the goods, stall everyone, run to the car and back, act like nothing happened.
I was wrong.
I've worked retail and I work customer service so I really try to be understanding, but Macys did not have their Varsity Squad out for noon on black Friday, they had the damn C-team out there.
The guy took 45 minutes to sticker and ring everything up along while trying to make awkward, sweaty small talk with me. Eventually he gave it up though, there was a line building and he was incredibly nervous.
After that tomfoolery, he looked totally appalled that I wanted him to look up my card.
He did and then told me it was denied. Which was quite a shock, I had maybe 100$ on the card and a 2000$ limit and certainly hadn't missed any payments.
At this point, we were both annoyed. I walked away to Charlie and the kids, all looking bored out of their minds.
"Are you ready yet?"
"No! That loser over there told me my card was declined! I'm gonna call card services!"
I called and the customer service lady said there wasn't a problem at all.
I marched over to the check out desk and thrust the phone in his face.
He was baffled and I briefly felt like an asshole.
We got it straightened out and I apologized at least 50 times.
Needless to say, Steve got the drone and we might not ever go Black Friday shopping again.
Might.
On Cyber Monday (cuz I like to hit up all the days of the week with sales) on Amazon I bought the kids their big gifts. Steve was getting a Kindle and Summer was getting a kitchen.
On Christmas morning the kids excitedly ran out of their rooms and dug into their stockings. Mine was the only one that was empty. Steve pointed this out and noticed with blazing accuracy that mine was always empty.
I glared at Charlie "Maybe Santa doesn't realized that the best part of Christmas is the stocking? Maybe he doesn't realize that its my favorite thing."
To which Charlie replied "What? How is Santa supposed to know that?! I guess Santa will show up with some things for mommy next year!"
I finally let them open their big gifts.
Summer was thrilled with hers and went right to cooking us breakfast.
Steve opened the box which I had stuffed with paper and was super confused.
"Theres nothing in here!" He wailed.
I urged him to keep looking.
He turned it on its side and crawled in.
He spent a good 5 minutes in there, 4 of which I'm sure were spent crying and then came out red faced and triumphant.
"I got a Kindle! Look at all the games and books!"
I was happy he was happy.
Christmas Day was packed to the gills.
We went to Charlies Aunt Cathy's House and ate dinner and opened presents and then to my Aunt's house for dessert and more presents.
It was a fun day and the kids were completely exhausted and fell fast asleep in the car home.
Christmas was so much fun as a child and its amazing to see it through their eyes. I never thought it could get better as a child, but really, seeing them experience it, is way better than I could ever dream of.
Cheers.
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