I decided a little earlier in the month that we should revisit the place where it all happened; my favorite place in the whole world : Lake Chelan, Washington.
I went camping here often as a child and Charlie and I went camping together several times before the kiddies were born, and obviously, we got married there also.
It holds many fond memories for me and now we get to pass that along to our children, which makes me extremely happy.
We had never gone camping as a family of 4 before so this was all a relatively new experience for us. These are the things I learned and possible tips for next time we all go, which will most likely be in a month or so.
Lesson/Tip 1
Trust Whitey.
Charlie (sort of) restored his Dad's 1993 Ford F250. When I say restored I mean that it now runs and is a vehicle that Charlie warms up for 3 hours for his 5 minute drive to work and then warms it up for another 3 hours to drive the 5 minutes home. If we go anywhere we take my car, which in my mind is much more reliable. because it is. I had taken everything out of the Mazda and even vacuumed it to make room for everything that we needed for 3 days. There just wasn't enough room in the car. We had to take Whitey. Which is a name that sounds racist but its been called that since they bought it apparently. So, you know, don't judge anyone. And if you do, judge Charlies family and not me.
Anyway, we shoved Summers captains chair in the middle in the back and crammed Steve off to the side and tossed everything in the back and hunkered down for what should have been a 3 hour drive. While Charlie kept saying, "Whitey is great! I cant believe you don't have faith in her! Touch the dash and give her some love. Just do it."
Lesson/Tip 2
Why the hell are we stopping so much?
So, Ive been doing the Paleo Diet for about a month and was like, 'Vacation?! Sugar!"
So I suggested we stop and get a little snackypoo for the road, since it was going to be a while we were going to get hungry. We went to the Co-op and I bought some cookies. They were amazing. Thanks for asking. We then needed gas. Holy Shit. 75$ for a tank and a half of gas? Because good ol' Whitey has not one but 2 diesel tanks to fill. Ok, that really puts a damper on eating any kind of food for the remainder of the trip. Finally, after the two stops we were on our way. Or were we? Yes, we were. Summer had fallen asleep and Steve was being oddly quiet, which let me tell you is a phenomenon I don't question. I was really getting annoyed with the fucking lumbar support in the truck because it was more of a violent fisting in my back motion every time the truck moved rather than a nice supportive seat, but I tried not to complain too much because Charlie was just so proud and I didn't want to jinx it. Charlie decided that he was hungry and wanted a meal of meats and cheese and bacon. Totally perfect for driving for hours when your digestive system isn't used to that sort of thing.
We stopped at the Alpine Drive In, I'm pretty sure its in Gold Bar? I could be wrong though. So, we had another pit stop and had to pull off and chill while they made his gut buster burger.
About 10 minutes after shoveling beef into his mouth, he told me that was a horrible idea. Psh, obviously. We drove on and on. Another stop in Leavenworth to fill Charlies growler and another stop in Cashmere so I could haphazardly jump into the truck bed for almonds and oranges and then fall out of the side, while trying to look like I do that all the time.
Notice how we never stopped once for the kids? Not one time. Summer slept most of the way and didn't fuss once and Steve never complained or asked "Are we there yet?"
Just the parents turning a 3 hour drive into a 5 hour one.
Lesson/Tip 3
No matter how adorable the wildlife is,
DO NOT FEED THEM.
We finally arrived at our beloved destination. It was chilly and there were about 3 other campers in the entire state park which was amazing and totally unheard of. We set up camp with our new tent that comfortably slept 5 (thanks Dad!) and tried to think what we should do about dinner. We noticed we had company. A lot of company. I have never once seen a marmot here in all my times being on the lake and all of a sudden there were 4, peeking out of the rocks and staring at us. Along with tiny chipmunks sooo many types of birds, ducks, and deer, everywhere. It was wonderful, or so I thought. Steve was practically squealing with delight at the sight of "adorable things" and Summer kept pointing and saying "doggiedoggie" I had to feed them, if anything to please the children. So, we did and they went nutso and were our best friends the whole time. Even when they started to get real clingy and we totally weren't interested in their friendship anymore, they persisted. The friendship eventually led to them stalking us. Which will lead into this next story quite nicely.
Lesson/Tip 4
Bring something to cage the baby.
Summer does not sleep with us. I think co-sleeping is wonderful if it works for you, it does not work for us. If Steve has a bad dream or something or is sick and sleeps with us, its horrible. He shakes violently because he is either sick or is so pumped to be in bed with us and then when he does fall asleep, its like sleeping with a giant troll. One that snores inexplicably loud, grinds his teeth and shouts himself awake. It is horrible. Summer needs boundaries. If there is the edge of the bed within sight, no matter how tired she is, she is trying to get down. The trick is holding her down and pretending to be asleep but watch out, she might try to bite you. Its like trying to cuddle an angry honey badger.
When she eventually falls asleep, she kicks all night long.
We didn't bring the pack n play so I had to try and get her to nap and to sleep with the cuddly honey badger method.
Day 2 of us being there we tried to get her to nap at the usual time and she wasn't into it, at all. So, we played on the beach for a few hours more, to get her good and tired. I went up to the tent with her and after much protesting she finally fell asleep, and fell hard. Nothing was waking her up, which was good because there was a lot going on. I am not a napper so I sat up (ever so gently) to grab my book. Much to my surprise, 2 chipmunks and 4 marmots were on the picnic table going to town on that mornings boxed up breakfast. They could clearly see me and didn't think I was a threat because of our toxic friendship that I stupidly started. I tried to quietly, without unzipping the tent, shoo them away. They looked at me and waved and were like "oh hey! Just enjoying your left overs! We figured you wouldn't eat this anyway. Thanks!" I was livid. I quietly got out of the tent and shooed them away. I decided to stand my ground and read at the picnic table, they scattered. 3 seconds later the 4 marmots were coming at me on all 4 sides. Stealth fully pretending to scratch around and eat whatever it is they naturally eat. I was absorbed in my book after a few minutes. All of a sudden, I see a brown streak in my peripheral. The biggest one was running at me at full speed, leapt over my legs and on top of the picnic table where it sat staring at me. The others were closer also. I was scared that Charlie and Steve would come back to my mangled bloody body with the marmots high fiveing each other in victory. At this point I was standing, too scared to say anything when I started hearing what sounded like an incredibly low flying helicopter. I look up and see a huge eagle flying low enough to scalp me.
These animals were going to murder me in my sleep and Summer had to sleep in the same sleeping bag as me so she was going to get claws in the face too. I decided to stop staring death in the face and go back and try to nap with Summer. As soon as I was in there, they started using their opposable thumbs to get into the tent. Fucking seriously. Jumping on the tent and moving the zipper around. What. the. fuck. I waited until I could see the outline of one of its bodies and kicked as hard as I could. For the remainder of our trip, they only looked longingly at us from their rock homes.
Lesson/Tip 5
Sleep in clothes.
Charlie grew up backpacking and camping and doing all sorts of outdoorsy things. I would consider my husband an expert on the subject of camping. We went to Chelan knowing that it wasn't going to be hot like in the summer, because its spring and only 65 degrees which means the low at night is almost to freezing. Its seriously cold. The first night Charlie couldn't find his sub-zero sleep sack so he just used our blanket and comforter from our bed. Which is not sufficient for use in 36 degree weather. He also decided it would be wise to only wear boxers. I'm surprised that my "expert camper" husband didn't freeze to death. I'm glad he didn't. Die that is.
Lesson/Tip 6
The sunrise is around 6. Enjoy it.
There are many things I enjoy. Getting up to enjoy the sunrise is not one of them. Not even in my top 25 list of things id like to enjoy. So, when Summer started crying at 545, most likely because she was freezing, I decided to grin and bear it because I am rarely alive at 545 and maybe some cool shit happens then that I'm not aware of. Charlie was already awake because he was also freezing and Steve was just coming around as well. It was so beautiful and peaceful that I'm glad I didn't force Summer to go back to sleep. The lake was like glass and the sun rising over the hills was a wonderful way to wake up and start our day. Turns out cool shit does happen at 545.
Lesson/Tip 7
Learn to pee outside. Steve edition.
Steve has been potty trained for some years now and has been peeing outside for about the same amount of time so it would stand to reason that he would know how and when to pee outside.
Apparently he needs a few more lessons.
We were all sitting around the fire eating smores and chatting, soaking in the last few rays of the sun when Steve disappeared into the tent.
I figured he was changing into jammies or doing something along those lines. I was wrong. A few seconds later Charlie looked at me and said, "Oh jeeze. Don't say anything. You'll just upset him." I turn around and Steve has his pants dropped and is peeing right outside of the tent all over all of our shoes. I was shocked. I gasped and probably blew the whole situation out of proportion. "Steve! What are you doing! Why would you do that? You are peeing on ALL of our shoes!" I wasn't yelling, honestly I had just raised my voice a little. Steve started crying because he is very sensitive and that's ok. So Charlie went and picked him up and calmly told him to just think about things before he did them, so I felt like a dbag and muttered something like, "He should have known better, I don't feel bad at all." because I did sort of feel bad. But come on! All over our shoes!
Lesson/Tip 8
Learn to pee outside. Sara edition.
As it turns out, peeing outside is very hard. We all went to bed about the same time as the sun went down because we had gotten up at 545 that morning, so that seemed logical for our sanity.
I woke up at what I would assume was midnight absolutely frozen on one side and with Summer sweating on me on the other side in my sleeping bag. My right arm was asleep and the side I was laying on felt bruised because once again, our sleeping pads had lost air. I actually do have bruises, on both sides. It feels great. Like a camping war wound. I gently took Summer out of my sleeping bag and put her under the blankets with Charlie. I laid there for what felt like forever trying to get back to sleep to no avail. I also had to pee super bad. I seriously debated peeing my pants for a while so I wouldn't have to get up and walk to the bathroom in 36 degree weather. I decided against it and tossed around to grab my jacket and stumbled outside. I was pretty terrified to go up to the bathroom alone so I figured if the boys can pee outside and Summer can pee wherever she wants at her convenience, I can stick it to the man just as good as they can, and pee outside too. I ripped down my sweats and was really impressed at the control I had over where my pee was going. I thought to myself "Wow, this isn't hard. I should do this all the time. I'm amazing." I went back into the tent with a smug look of satisfaction on my face and a feeling of superiority over both of the fools with penises and a baby with a diaper. That's when I came upon the realization that I did indeed, pee all over my sweats. What the fuck?! I'm covered in urine! I might as well have just peed my pants in the sleeping bag and gone back to sleep, warm in my pee. I had to find a new pair of pants and get readjusted and turn on the lantern. Charlie wasn't amused and neither was Summer. She was crying and since he was awake I figured he could blow my sleeping pad back up too. When all three of us had settled back in to our respective sleeping places, my stomach started to gurgle because of all the non-paleo stuff I had been eating.
I didn't even want to risk pooping outside.
Lesson/Tip 9
Just because helicopters are circling does not mean that an escapee from the local mental institution is on the run with a knife at the state park you are camping at.
This is highly unlikely. Right? After I ran up to the bathroom in a crazy panic stricken manner brandishing my lantern like a weapon and back down in the same fashion, I realized that a helicopter was circling the sky. I got back into the tent, waking every one up again and because I'm the mom and people wake me up all the time at night, I didn't feel bad.
I got into my sleeping bag and got every one back to sleep, except for myself, because I have a super vivid imagination and a slight panic/anxiety disorder.
The helicopter kept circling and was getting louder which made me think that it was circling right above us. Which automatically sent my mind into a spiral of what ifs.
What if someone escaped from the local prison or mental institution and they have a weapon, like a gun. No a knife? Which is way worse! A mentally unstable person with a knife, who could rip right through our tent like a knife through butter, who wants to kill us all and there isn't anyone in the park to hear us scream so we would surely die and no one would know we were dead until Sunday when our Safety, Heather, would start to worry and call the police because I had told her to.
Oh no, were going to die! I had to calm myself down, which wasn't easy because I had really worked myself into a tizzy. Eventually I fell asleep and had vivid dreams of people ripping open our tent with all of our food in their mouths. In the morning, I realized I should have brought my Xanax and that maybe it was some sort of night time helicopter tour and that everything I was thinking the night before was totally insane. Because I may or may not be insane.
Lesson/Tip 10
Say Yes.
I feel like I'm always telling everyone no.
As in, no you cant eat the toothpaste.
No, you cant eat chalk.
No, just use your blankets mine are not any better.
No, you cant take that away from Summer, its hers and your 6.
I recently started doing yoga and am trying to really Let Go and just enjoy life. You cant enjoy life if your always turning it down with a no.
So, I really tried to stay in the moment and just say yes. I let Steve go down to the beach himself, even though all my motherly instinct said to say no because I couldn't see him every second.
I let Summer eat carrot-flax muffins for every meal so that she could explore and let her drop it in dirt and eat it still.
Just say yes and let go, it was wonderful and freeing and everyone had a better time because of it.
We had a great time camping as a family and I learned a few things. To many more!
Cheers.
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