Christmas and the Shot Nurse

Well Ladies and Gentlemen, the Christmas season is upon us.

Steve is very aware of this and at every opportunity, he reminds us.

"I want that!"

"Ok, we will have to write that down for Santa"

"OOOH! I want that!"

"Those look like girl toys, I think its a Barbie camper or something"

"Oh...I still want that."

I have asked him repeatedly to sit down and circle all the stuff he wants in the Toys R Us wish book,

he just looks at me like I'm stupid and says,

"Well, Mommy, I just want everything. Even the girl stuff"

Looks like were going to have a super duper Christmas this year, and Mommy and Daddy and Santa will all be broke.

Good times.

Anyways, we had to go to the doctor for his well child check yesterday and he forgot all about shots.

I think after yesterday, he wont be forgetting them anytime soon.

We sat in the little room for a little while waiting for the doc and they always have you fill out that little sheet, what can your kid do?

I always walk out of there thinking he is a damn genius .

My son can successfully draw a circle and tell me that people talk and birds fly.

Astounding!

I may have fudged the part where he had to draw a cross...but I still think he is a genius.

They did vision and hearing and the doc did his thing all the while lecturing me on the same old stuff.

"No television. No video games. No messing around while we eat. Seat belts in the car. Helmets on the bike and/or anything on wheels. Supervision while playing outside and make sure he knows about strangers."

Steve's pediatrician is like a drill sergeant.

I always feel like if I say,

 "Why yes sir, we watch Dora in the mornings before school."

He is going to punch me in the face and grab Steve and run while calling CPS because I'm an unfit parent.

It hasn't happened yet because I normally lie and don't tell him that.

Does that make me an unfit parent?

Whatever.

Anyways, after all that and after he said Steve was a perfect little person, the shots nurse came in.

I always feel so bad for the lady.

Her job is to come in and poke kids and make them and their mothers cry.

Tough break.

I kept telling Steve that shots were coming and he didn't seem to mind, even after I told him they would hurt, but just a little, I got no reaction out of him.

So, she came in and started explaining what was about to happen

"I'm going to give you some medicine so that you don't get sick. Its going to pinch a little but Mommy's going to hold your hand and you have to stay very still."

She pulled up his left shirt sleeve, Steve was still happy as a little clam, smiling and kicking his little feet.

Then the first shot came.

I remember being at the dentist getting shots in my gums and the dental assistant always pats you on the shoulder. Your supposed to think its for "comfort" but its actually to distract you from the pinching in your mouth.

I tried this with Steve with no such luck.

I was talking really loudly about how we were going to go to the park and get chocolate milk and go and see Tracey (my old boss) at the cafe' while lightly hitting him the knee.

After the first and the second shot were administered he was a little shocked that this lady would come in here and pinch him like that.

What a douche!

Then came the tears and the realization that we had to do the other arm, a tetanus no less.

I tried to keep him looking at me with all the hollering about our day and knee hitting, but just as she was starting to insert needle number 4, he looked over and watched her poke him with, what I would imagine to him was a crazy instrument of torture, and insert liquid into his little arm.

He was horrified and angry.

The nurse left with her head hung low and me on on the verge of tears.

Steve had his little fists balled up and was crying hysterically.

I told him he could pick out some stickers which cheered him up considerably.

We went and got some chocolate milk and I let him eat a hot dog and Cheetos, which is something I would never do, unless Steve was suffering.

At that moment, I certainly felt like he was.

We went to the park and played and enjoyed the rest of the day, he doesn't have to get any more shots until he is 11, thank God.

So, it looks like we have several peaceful years until we have to meet up with the Shots Nurse again.

Oh and this is how Steve drinks out of the water fountain at the park, it was pretty hilarious.

Cheers.