Cajun Heartland State Fair

My schedule has been pretty sweet lately, I work 10 am to 4 pm Mon-Thurs and have 3 day weekends, its been really nice to be making a decent amount of money during the week and not having to stay up until midnight to do it. So I took advantage of this awesome schedule last weekend and Steve and I went to the Cajun Heartland State Fair at the Cajun Dome.

 I pump Steve up for the fair, as it is his first one, but I don't want to scare him, so I decide to take us when it opens, around noon. Clearly I was only thinking about avoiding drunk teenagers making out with one another in the evening because going at noon when it was nearing 100 degrees outside wasn't smart.

I was already sweating and regretting my black shirt decision when we got there but getting out of the car and walking around in the heat is insanity.

Exerting any amount of energy when the sun is beating down on you and its 100 degrees and climbing, is just plain sadistic, but we were going to have fun because I had 30 free tickets, damn it.

We went on a few rides together, just so he could get a feel for carnival rides, I really didn't want them to have to stop something mid-ride because he was panicking in there. He had so much fun, I let him go on most everything when I realized we were blowing through tickets pretty quickly. I spotted a petting zoo that was free so I struck up a deal with him, we go in here for a little while, check stuff out and then we go and ride more?

OK Mommy.

So reasonable, my child is.

I know I sound like a total bleeding heart, especially after my last post, but this petting zoo was pitiful. They had the animals in cages the size of a port-a-potty. This would have been fine, but these weren't baby goat sized animals, were talking 500 pound African cattle stuck in here with barely enough room to turn around. I bought some cut up carrots and walked around to all of the animals and Steve and I pet their noses and fed them carrots. I spent a little extra time whispering to them and petting their noses, those big brown cow eyes just looked so sad.

Alright, enough with the bleeding heart crazy animal lady-ness.

After we were done with that, Steve noticed a pony ride area. As we were walking by I said loudly, "Well Bud, we only have 5 dollars left and we need to get some water, I don't think we can do the pony rides today." The guy running the ponies, looked around to make sure no one else was around and called over, shyly, "He can ride if he wants."

Jackpot!

Steve chose the only black and white spotted one because it looked like a cow, I think he actually thought he was riding a cow.

He thoroughly enjoyed the ponies and I thanked the man about three thousand times for his kindness.

We had a few tickets left and it was about 1:00 in the afternoon and well over 100 degrees, no breeze, no shade. Steve started limping, which is odd because normally he doesn't have a limp...at least not that I had noticed. I asked him what was wrong and he showed me the back of his foot which was a big blistery sore. Should've worn socks, Steve.

Still we had those tickets so we powered through.

The last ride of the day was called the Raider, as in Raiders of the Lost Ark, it was one of those walk through, fun house type things. Steve was desperate to go on it, even though he wasn't tall enough, the lovely carny woman saw those hazel eyes and couldn't resist Steve's charm. She let him pass, while I watched from the side lines.

The first obstacle was just a bit of walking through big punching bag things, easy.

The next obstacle, not so much.

It was a little rope wall that you had to climb up to get to the next level.

Steve looks out at me and I encourage him along with the carny. "You can do it bud, just try hard!"

The other kids are much bigger and a little pushy. Its a battlefield in this one, my son is getting stampeded by a mob of crazy candy frenzied sweaty fair zombie kids and all I can do is watch and give lame shouts of encouragement. The other parents are standing by, smiling, waving at their zombie kids and all I want to to do is run over and punch them in the face. "Haven't you taught your little rude psycho's any manners? You smile while they practically stomp on my kids' face?!" Instead, I stand in the heat, smiling like an idiot. Steve finally, after quite a while, makes it up to the top. Victoriously he smiles down at me from the stair, "I did it Mommy!" and with a limp too! My son is like that girl in the Olympics that got the gold with a sprained ankle.

What determination and perseverance.

What an amazing child I have.

 Abruptly, all the magic is sucked out of his victory moment. There is much more to Raiders than previously expected. A huge, hot slide that looks like what I picture a giant succubus to look like, minus the teeth lining the inside.Steve starts crying and pacing the top, not knowing what to do, as the zombies close in on him and threaten to push him in to certain death. When a mother hears her child cry out of genuine fear, instinct takes over. You feel like a super hero, I probably could have pulled a semi-truck with a rope in my teeth or done the crossword in the Times on Sunday. I throw my purse and huge camera to the ground and lunge forward onto the stairs, I get the carnies blessing and move through the ride with the stealth and agility of a Liger, a lion and a tiger, the best of both worlds. As an afterthought, I yell down, "Hey can you watch my purse and camera please?" OK, Raiders bring it on!

I throw off my flip flops and flop all over to get through this rope wall in a panic to my panicking son, panicking runs in the family.

There is a reason that my son was crying at the top of this vortex of terror, called a bouncy slide. It was 150 degrees inside this thing and as soon as you sat on it you felt like your were going to get stuck and sucked into the sides, suffocating in a giant bag of fun. I coaxed him in there and I went in right after him, suffering a mini panic attack and throwing a dozen Hail Mary's whilst scooting down this thing. Finally, it shot us out and there was a moment of success, when the next task was seen. Rickety wood bridge, not one but two, probably as old as the Raiders of the Lost Ark movie. Sketchy doesn't even describe it. I'm not a small person either, I'm a big girl and this thing is meant for kids, probably not over 100 pounds and I'm very much over that weight limit. However, onward and upward as they say.

I grab Steve and throw him in front of me, he doesn't want to go. So, I do what any loving parent would do. I shake the bridge to make him move faster because I really want to get off this beast. After several frantic shaky minutes we finally make it to the top of the 2 bridges. One last and final task to conquer, a slide. Seemingly harmless, this slides bottom is made of metal. Wow, what genius thought that one up?

Steve goes down fine and waits for me at the bottom. My butt was literally on fire and I started to go a little faster than I really wanted to go so I put my feet up on the sides, which didn't help but made me feel like I was going to die a painful death. Finally, I clumsily land on soft and see Steve's face looking at mine. Thank God, we did it.

Red and sweaty and full of adrenaline I pulled Steve's limping body out of the park and forever away from the Raiders.

Cheers.